January 06, 2004

January 06, 2004 - 4:42 p.m.

*Completely* forgot to mention that Miss Beek is now online at the Dillhole Spotter. Visit. Say howdy. And try to figure out which Dillhole I am...oh, the shame! The horror! The--hey, is that a beer?

January 06, 2004 - 9:55 a.m.

Sometimes everything you've ever wanted floats above
Sticking out its tongue and laughing while
Everything that anyone could ever need is down below
Waiting for you to notice
There's never gonna be a moment of truth for you
While the world is watching
All you need is the thing you've forgotten
And that's to learn to live with what you are
--Ben Folds

Last night my head was swirling around like a tornado, spitting out ideas. To try and break up the "eye", I ran a bath, plopped in a fizzy smelly thing, and lit the candles. Slid into the bath, then picked up paper and a pen. Wrote down every little thing that came to mind. Gifts I need to make and buy the next few weeks. Knitting projects that should be finished or begun soon. Ideas on how to pay for new carpet. Whether I can finance a digital camera by using it to sell stuff on eBay. A running tab of everything to tell the doctor next time. In other words, all the crapola that's been filling my head so full that it doesn't function well. When I got out, these were the only words left:

Bath good.

Thanks for all of your feedback yesterday. It helps to put things into perspective. I'm not going to curl up and die or anything; I'm just unhappy at work. Isn't it awful how almost anyone can bond over employment misery? Stupid that so many of us have experienced this - or still are. Life's too short. Seems like there are two stages to solving this: figuring out what would make you happy (or at least happier; not sure that happiness is a sustainable condition) and then figuring out how to create those conditions. I pretty much know what would make me happy, but can't see how to get there yet. Yet being the important part. So ignore my--holy crap, I just spilt coffee on my CPU. The IT guys are going to kick my ass. Hold on a sec.

Okay, crisis averted; wasn't that easy? All it took was a box of cheap tissues and a bottle of orange cleaner. Sure. Nobody'll know the difference, not unless they hear the sparking or smell smoke. Um. Maybe I shouldn't be allowed to have beverages. Caffeinated ones at least.

Anyway, my project book is now full of cheap (because they're paid for) ideas that will keep me busy. Tops is finishing Scratcher's Christmas present. Next is finishing Mom's ribknit jacket, which is 1/2 or so complete and would make a sweet birthday present in April. Most importantly, though...[drumroll] my refinance finishes off tomorrow, funded and all! A chunky check will be in my Fed-Ex-worthy hands tomorrow. Dinner at Waterboy is on me tonight - after I finallyfinallyfinally buy a new digital camera.

Yay!

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