2003-04-23 - 3:18 p.m.
It's in keeping with how my world works that, now I have decided firmly to stay with J and work things out, I've started to be attracted to other men. This weekend (at a beerfest, natch), I found flirting fun again. And I felt sexy (again, the beer) - but it felt natural. And I was tipsy, but not drunk. Feeling cute.
Then there's K Guy. I found his site through one of my daily blog reads. He's sexy, funny and single. He's crafty in the best way. He writes code. His comments are all from women. I'm just lusting for this man. And I'm flirting here, too - only it feel less natural and more blatant, because it's etherized.
Is this something I should think more about? It may be that I'm just contrary by nature. Committed, me? Or it could be a genuine concern.
It will have to work itself out without interference from my brain. The synapses are all worn out from the past year. They're just not up for more analysis and talk.
Talk, schmalk. Let's fall asleep on the bed together and stay quiet for days.
On that note, therapy is 90 minutes away.
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