November 19, 2003
November 19, 2003 - 8:44 a.m.
Gentlemen, when your girlfriend says to you, "Hey, I'm knitting you a hat!", the appropriate response is not "But I already have a hat." Nope. The appropriate response, especially if said girlfriend is hanging out with you and your friends, is "Aw, honey, thanks!" I don't care if the hat ends up hot pink with lime flowers - say thank you and be done with it. You'll be glad you feigned appreciation, since said girlfriend will then offer sex, even if she's feeling like crap on a cracker and would much rather be home snuggling down with a mug of TheraFlu than givin' out the lovin'. Got me?
So yeah, I 'm sick. Over a four-hour period last night my body went from fair-to-midding to invasion-of-the-body-snatchers. It was like every virus in me woke up, stretched, and said, "let's get 'er!" Blech. Sore throat, achy and very, very short-tempered. After poor Scratcher blundered the hat comment last night, I sweetly told him that he also already has a scrotum, but that I could arrange for him to lose it. Oh yeah. Time for me to head home, even though his friends were loving every second.
Before I head back into the Nyquil-induced coma, Helen has been laid off. Join me in a hearty SOD YOU toward her former employers, wouldja?
Comments: Speak your piece!
former / latter