September 09, 2004

September 09, 2004 - 9:52 a.m.

Here's what's happened during the last three weeks:

1. My neighbor came over to say that there was water leaking into her carpet from our shared wall. The insurance people said that my new bathtub was mis-installed two years ago. They ripped apart our bathroom, leaving us unable to shower/bathe at home, then put the whole thing back together. Did I mention that it's been averaging 95 degrees here and that le Coq works blue collar? That's a whole lot of hot sweaty man in a bad way.

2. On my way to order a keg for the bbq, my car becomes the meat in an accident sandwich. My hood is rucked up, headlight smashed back, bumper off kilter. The front bumper sustains a lovely vertical cut and weird half-moon punch from the first car's hitch. The back bumper is magically not dented, but is gouged and scratched all over. This wouldn't be such a big deal, except that...

3. I have no insurance because the fucking fucking fucking bank is holding my paycheck for five motherFUCKing days because it's a non-local check. In a UC town from a UC account. My insurance is paid monthly, so I AM SCREWED. My direct deposit needs one more month to kick in, so I haven't paid my insurance on time - OH, or the mortgage, or any of the other bills. I deposited the check on September 1; they want five business days, which due to the holiday means that they hold the check until Today, September 9. And all my howling at them gets me nowhere, which means...

4. That poor le Coq has to front money for the entire bbq. He doesn't mind, but it gets my panties all bunched to know that I'm affecting our plans like this, and that the poor guy has only seen my life be a complete disaster over the month we've lived together. I hate that.

5. So we think the tub is fixed, and we flash-clean the house and have the bbq. It�s a big hit; about forty people come through and eat massive quantities of shrimp and steak, plus tofu, salad�the whole shebang. Nobody throws up and nothing gets broken, so it�s a good party. On Monday I clean, wash a mountain of dishes and fall asleep on the couch. This is my good day.

6. On Tuesday the neighbor says the water leak is not fixed. This is not my good day. This is also the day I realize that they�re going to hold my paycheck for another three days. After work we go to shoot pool and talk with friends. I get more and more upset, exacerbated by two friends I perceive as being judgemental and mean � and I completely lose my shit. I cry and stammer and say dumb things in front of everybody and basically make a giant ass of myself. Again, not my good day.

7. That leads us to today, when the neighbor comes over to describe what�s in her dining room as a �flood�. I hate the neighbor. I hate that her only discomfort has been some rucked-up carpet, while I�ve endured weeks of no shower, no tub, ripped out tile, escaping cats, driving to and from work three times a day, etc etc etc. When I get to work (late) at 9, the contractor has left a message that he wants to come today at noon.

8. That�s where I am. In forty minutes I�ll drive my beat-up car with the hitch-damaged bumper home again, let them in, and let them tell me that it�s the drain, which isn�t covered by insurance, which means that I�ll have to try and get a home equity loan, which is totally impossible considering my income, my credit, my fucking stupid life that just needs to fucking end.

The moral of this story? A) folks, never tell me to just write no matter how bad shit is that�s happening. This is the result. B) Never, ever buy a condo. C) I have screwed up my life beyond the point of return.

Comments: Speak your piece!

former / latter