November 20, 2003
November 20, 2003 - 2:40 p.m.
There are days I feel clever, like a fully functional adult. Then there's today.
To start with, I missed out on a much-needed appointment with Therapist this morning. Our wires were crossed for the second month in a row. He was not happy. I was not happy. Pretty sure that one was my fault.
Have now spent the last hour looking for a single piece of paper that will tell me what line item a certain employee's payroll was on for December 2002, which will then let me complete an expense transfer. I could scream.
All of this, in tandem with worry about money and general PMS-style depression, has meant several trips to the ladies' room to cry in a stall. Fucking up isn't high on anyone's list, but lately it's like everything I touch turns to shit. Rather than go to Simon and Garfunkel tonight, what I want to do is take a sleeping pill and crash. Wah.
November 20, 2003 - 10:37 a.m.
I am most proud to announce that finally, FINALLY the mitered square bag is finished. Took it out of the washer after a third round of felting (I have a front-loading European-style washer, which makes it take much longer) yesterday. There will be pictures. If only the Web could give you a tangible sense of this bag! Fuzzy, sturdy and beautiful. Now I just need to sew on a pair of handles and wrap it up for Christmas.
Since Scratcher didn't seem to be interested in a hat, I also finished an adapted kufi last night in Noro's Silk Garden, color Grassy. It's very pretty and soft. Another gift finished. Then I cast on for a different kind of hat, with a brim of scrap fuschia/dark brown nubbly boucle (no label on the skein) with a body of chocolate brown wool and couple of moss stitch rows. I'm about twenty rows in, and it looks great. There's enough of each yarn to make a matching pair of Glittens (scroll to 9/25). Like I said, no purchasing this year. Thankfully it's a cold winter for us. (That means we've been hitting the low 50s at night - we're a bunch of wimps!)
That's the knitting update. I should get sick more often.
Tonight I see Simon and Garfunkel in concert. Wish this felt more exciting. I effing love Paul Simon, but the fact that they've posted a permanent set list kind of gives me the ick. Concerts are supposed to be at least moderately spontaneous. One set list for the entire tour? Too bad.
Tomorrow night Miss Beek and I are building a fire, renting movies and babysitting Siana. Between work, money and not feeling good, I've been wound very tight all week, and with Scratcher working two jobs, he doesn't really have time to handle my shit. (Not his fault in any way, and I place no blame.) So relaxing with a beautiful baby and my best friend sounds very good - especially because Saturday the bank and I have an appointment to discuss refinancing. I'm sick and tired of getting shafted every month on this mortgage.
Here's the deal: I'm five years in on a fifteen-year loan, and I owe roughly $65K on a condo worth minimum $130K. Because the loan amount is relatively small and the period so short, I get very little tax writeoff. I also end up paying for property taxes, flood insurance, homeowner's insurance, and other assorted crap on my own - which are included in most mortgages. I can't afford the current situation any more. If they won't refi, I have to either find another bank or sell the house and start over. As you can imagine, this is keeping me up nights. Not a very happy way to live.
In the meantime, I'm swigging through another bottle of Dayquil and entering payroll for October. Thanks for the good wishes, everybody. It sounds like plenty of people - Ator, Helen, Wench - are all swimming through rough seas. Deep breaths, ok?
Comments: Speak your piece!
former / latter