December 30, 2003
December 30, 2003 - 4:33 p.m.
Oh sweet jeebus, y'all, I have the worst headache of my life. Please make it stop. How am I going to drive home?
In other, oddly unrelated news, once I finish up a leftover Christmas project, I can finally start knitting Nicole.
The yarn and pattern have been languishing since July. I'm a little worried about the sizing, but guess I'll just be really careful with gauge. It's been a while since I've taken on something so complicated.
I know, it's stupid to post this the same day as my lingerie questions. But this is so pretty!
December 30, 2003 - 1:33 p.m.
Warning! I'm medicated and not making much sense. Read at your own risk.
I am capable of zipzerozilch today, Madame Employer, and you can bite my left boob if you really think it will motivate me in any way to get off my ass and work. I am supposed to be writing a guide to executive recruitment, but after the twelve single-spaced pages put together yesterday, my brain is applesauce.
To take my mind off having a headache that feels like it's in a vice-grip (or maybe a C-clamp)*, let's discuss my current dumb working theory:
Men who date women like me don't like lingerie.
What do I mean by women like me? Well, two things really; first, I'm no little girl. My size 14s fit just fine, and everybody keeps telling me that there's no way these are B-cups.** (Weird, yes.) Don't get me wrong; I like my body. It's very bendy (lots of yoga, thank you) and it orgasms easily. And men seem to like it, especially in the last few years. But nobody will ever mistake me with those itsy-bitsy women on TV. Second, I call things like they are. If you want the truth, I'll tell you - carefully and kindly, but still. I'm an honest, moderately bright woman who doesn't like game-playing or pretending that I'm stupid.
Now, taking those two bits of info into consideration, I present to you that none of the men I've dated have been into lingerie. Not a one. I've tried teddies and corsets and waist cinchers, garters and robes and platform bras. Leather and lace, black and soft pastels, cotton and lycra. None of the men were much interested. No, what they want is nekkid, willing woman. Which is cool and all - no complaints.
It does make me wonder, though. Who are the men buying and looking at women in this stuff? Is it that they're attracted to a different kind of woman - slimmer, more obviously sexy? The bf thinks it's men who have a different idea of sex - that it's forbidden, somehow, or that women who like it are a little bit dirty. Frankly, I've never dated anybody who expected me to be shy about sex or wanted me to treat it as forbidden. Is it me - admittedly without the perfect body to wear the stuff? And is the Victoria's Secret catalog really whack-it-up material the way men say? Why do some men like it and some men not care at all?
I also wanna know: do you all like lingerie? Do you like wearing it or seeing it? I don't give a rat's ass about your gender - women have eyes, too. Don't try to tell me that straight women don't check each other out. Pffft. We're all looking at each other pretty much all the time. Now you know what I think - what's your call?
*Gee, aren't I all mechanical today? Scratcher's been teaching me about motorcycles. Go ahead, ask me about rear sets. Or you could ask me about sexy greasy men in tight 501's, which I know considerably more about.
**No kidding - twice during the holidays, another woman has stuck her hand down my bra, squeezed, and said, "Those are C's!" Ain't alcohol great?
Comments: Speak your piece!
former / latter