December 01, 2003

December 01, 2003 - 4:49 p.m.

"NO! I never said, 'you have such a big bottom'! I said, 'you're such a bottom!'"

Now that's a man who knows how to backtrack. Bwahahah.

Yes, yes, I'm off on a sex tangent again. Deal with it. Originally I planned a long rage about Bank of America here (grumble grumble machine-gun fire grumble), but this is more fun.

Here's the thing. I like men. (Well, mostly.) Men like me. (Again, mostly. Except for the ones who can't deal with my not being a size 2 with a DD rack.) But most of 'em make a deadly assumption when we meet.

They think I'm a top.

It's true that I have a true Taurus disposition. I'm stubborn, I'm earthy*, and I'm used to getting my way - aNd here I'm going to be a complete bitch and say that usually I get my way because I'm smarter. It's fucked up, but it's true. (Gee, dontcha just want to meet now?) Most of the people I've been involved with have, in one way or another, wanted me to dominate them. And that could not horrify me more.

In a relationship, it's all about balance! But in bed...

I bring this up only because Scratcher, mysterious creature that he is, gets me. I think it's effing hysterical that this guy can walk into a room and have me on my knees - no foreplay, no gentle nuzzling - in minutes. I love every second of it. And thank all the gods above, so does he.

Yeah, yeah, we're happy. So bite me. I also am in love with his son and have discovered that his brother and sister in law rock in no uncertain terms. Holy shit. We're on to something here.

*This term sucks ass. It makes me think of unwashed smelly women in line for the porta-potty at Lilith Fair. Sure, I went to Lilith, but I went for Liz Phair and K's Choice. And I bathed before and after the show. Clubbing the Indigo Girls to death with a stiletto is a fond, fond dream.

December 01, 2003 - 2:46 p.m.

Cue rant:

You know what? Making baskets for homeless animals at the holidays (and only 110 of 'em) in no way makes up for the fact that the Vet School still buys dogs from the Sacramento County pound for animal testing. Media-hungry assholes. Grr.

Spay and neuter, people. And for god's sake, don't fall into that horrible trap of buying puppies and kittens as holiday gifts, okay? The horror stories I could tell you...

I should just lower my expectations; if we can't take care of our kids, why should domesticated critters fare any better?

End rant. Exeunt.

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