2003-10-28 - 1:35 p.m.
Money. I hate money.
Sat down to figure out bills for next month today, only to realize that I've screwed myself again. Here's what's due in November in addition to my normal bills:
First half of the property taxes, $600.00
Car insurance, $600.00
Car registration, $300.00
Car tuneup and catalytic converter, $700.00
Bi-annual loan repayment, $400.00
I'm so screwed, it's not even funny.
Each month since J moved out - a year as of yesterday - has been more of a financial disaster. My finances are about to go nuclear, and it ain't gonna be pretty. In response, I've been thinking up money-making schemes. Here's the list so far:
1. Phone sex operator
2. Hooker - god knows I have the shoes!
3. Pimp - some of my friends are single and hot - think they'd go for it?
4. Escort for men with low expectations - do you call these women gigolas instead of gigolos?
It'll work itself out. All I really care about is keeping up on the mortgage and making my creditors happy. Everything else is gravy. Besides, a family of wolves could eat for a week on the contents of my fridge. It's just not fun being a single homeowner on the income of a university cog worker. Sigh. Can you say homemade Christmas gifts? Oh yeah, baby. Befriend me and you'll receive a stylin' macrame plant holder for the holidays.
For everybody who asked about thong v. g-string in the comments last time...I told you the answer wasn't quite finished! I haven't had the special brownies and time alone with horrible Scott Baio movies! In other words, you'll have to wait until after the weekend. Besides, I'm not accessing any files that involve a serious analysis of women who like having their cheeks spread apart by 2" of fabric on my office drive!
Patience, mes amis. All in good time.
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former / latter