2003-08-14 - 11:24 a.m.
Help! I cannot get the word fucktard out of my head. This is not work-appropriate language. And it's bringing up lots of other inappropriate fuck-derived terms. For example: fuckwad, fuckerrific, fuckalicious, fucktastic, fuckhead (hey, I never said they were creative), fuckety fuck, verfuckt (too much German in me, oh dear), fuck shui...they just keep rolling in.
I'm listening to lotsa quality-era Elton John. As proof, Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me*. A perennial favorite. And for anybody else who's been reading Ator (link under Musts), a quality karaoke tune. I can manage the drug-and-booze hazy look of 70s Elton John quite well, thank you. Though these days it's just vodka, thankyoukindly.
I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life
Too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light
Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me
I can't find, oh, the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have, oh, they need love to help them heal
Don't let the sun go down on me...
I was vividly reminded of why dialup sucks last night. Went to download Ben Folds' Speed Graphic to make a CD for a friend - and it took 90 minutes to get the five tracks. It also made me a little sad - J loves Ben Folds. We used to be able to spend an entire 8-hour car trip listening to nothing but Ben and Aimee Mann. Then again, we also spent 2 hours arguing in Crate and Barrel over forks. How insane is that?
My emotions are a roller coaster right now. For an hour I'm completely fine, focused on my work or my knitting, whatever. Then another minute ticks over and I'm in tears for no reason. Today I woke up livid. I don't get angry that often, and this was throw-shit-around-the-house pissed. Such an odd sensation. It was early, so I jumped on the bike and rode until my legs were numb. Seemed like the best way to handle it. Then I rode downtown, picked up coffee, and was in training class at 8:30. Not bad.
The weekend is shaping up quite well. Friday night dinner with a fucktastic (!) new friend, Saturday in San Francisco with Miss Beek for the Chagall show and lunch with the lovely/talented devBear and her hubby (yay!), my first time with the knitting group on Sunday. Looking forward to all of it.
Ooh, one last thing. David Bowie's touring again in January. This will be the tenth time I've seen him, and each time it gets better. We should all age so well.
*This is not meant for anybody, ok? No indirect message. I just love the song. So don't get freaked out, Guy Out There.
Comments: Speak your piece!
former / latter