Works in Progress
Wavy scarf for Christmas present in Manos del Uruguay (mostly on the shuttle, so it's slow going)

Current Obsession
Head.Must.Stay.Above.Water.

Last Google Search
Airline prices from Sacramento to Memphis - my parents have both sold their houses!

Woo-Hoo!
We have tickets for the Old 97's on October 16! Happy anniversary, honey!

Loving
My Netflix queue, which saves me from real TV

Munching
Burritos with home-cooked pintos, sharp cheddar and spinach

Cooking
Roasted peppers with crumbled queso fresco

Garden stuff
My poor garden - totally neglected and dry.

Archives
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004

You talkin' to me?
eMail
Notes
Profile
Amazon Wish List

Many thanks to:
Diaryland
PixelScripts
Artwork � Lian Quan Zhen

Previously...

i got a new attitude - September 24, 2004

- - September 22, 2004

- - September 20, 2004

Is this thing on? - September 20, 2004

- - September 15, 2004

2003-07-31

2003-07-31 - 8:57 p.m.

My dad was a little late to dinner tonight. By the time he sat down next to me at Seoul Korea, Mom and I had already ordered a beer. When he pulled out his chair, something banged against the glass tabletop. I reached for his left wrist, where he wears his diabetes Medicalert bracelet. There was something new danging there, a small metal cylinder about 2 inches long. It had a tight screw top and was heavy in my palm. When I asked Daddy about it, he told me that it contains nitroglycerin.

Daddy had a quadruple bypass before he was 50. He's now 56, and had to have some additional work done last year. Now that he's growing older and is having trouble again, his heart specialist wants him to carry the tiny pills with him everywhere. I'd never seen them before, but have always heard about nitro, so I asked Daddy to show the pills to me. As he awkwardly unscrewed the cap and removed the heat- and damp-proof rubber gasket, he began to tell me a story.

"One day when I was a little boy," he said, "my father took me out on the river in Detroit to fish. We were pretty far out - all the way to Peach Island," and here he looked to my mom, who nodded to confirm that she understood the distance implied, "and we had anchored there and were fishing from the shore. I was just a boy, maybe eight or nine, and since the fish weren't biting I got bored. I walked a ways down the coast and skipped rocks."

Daddy stopped and finished the beer in his glass. He motioned to the server for another OB, the Korean lager he likes. "When I went back to where my father was, he was bent double. He was drooling. He couldn't raise his arms, he couldn't tell me what was wrong. But I knew that he always kept nitroglycerin in a tube like this around his wrist." Daddy shook out a few of his white pills, sized like baby aspirin. "I put two of the pills under his tongue and waited a couple of minutes. My father still couldn't move by himself, but after that time had passed, he just said, 'more'. So I gave him more pills." At this point I had to stop looking at Daddy. His own gaze was on the fish tank adjacent to our table, where blue and orange cichlids were lazing. I saw the reflection of his glasses in the tank's tall sides. "When the pills really started to work, my father stopped drooling. He was able to move around a little. Eventually I got him back into the boat, started the motor, and drove back to our car. He tried to drive home on the freeway, but a police officer pulled us over with a bullhorn and told him that he'd have to speed up or get a ticket."

"When we were close to home, he stopped the car to talk to me. He said that my mother must never know what had happened, that it would only worry her. And we never did tell Mother." When Daddy finished telling the story, he drained his glass again, straightened his glasses and said in exactly the same tone of voice, "Right back. I'm headed for the bathroom."

My mother and I looked at each other across the table. I drank from my beer. Mom said, "he never told you that before, did he?" She knew that he hadn't by the expression on my face. "And you don't know about how he found Grandpa, either, do you?"

In that two minutes or three minutes before Daddy came back, Mom said that not only had my dad had to rescue his father that fishing day with nitroglycerin, but that when Grandpa died four years later, Daddy was the one who found him in the back yard. Daddy came home from junior high school football practice one afternoon to find his father's dead face in their back yard. Daddy called the police. He called the ambulance. He called the mortuary. He called the church. And then, after Grandpa's body had been removed, he called Grandma. She had been babysitting for Daddy's married sister the entire day.

I've had many difficulties with my dad over the years. With work, we've established a relationship that I'm very proud of. I enjoy his company for who he is, not just because he's my parent. But tonight I learned a new side of him, and it's given me, for maybe the first time, compassion for this man. Before we separated after dinner, I asked if I could come up and stay with him next weekend, just the two of us with the dogs, and talk. He said yes.



Comments: Speak your piece!

former / latter

Attack of the Blogs
Adrift in Japan
All Guinness
Ator's Ramblings
Bumptious
Dating God
Dooce
Everyday Stranger
Going Jesus
Hatamaran
I Don�t Think
Jessica Lovejoy
Kat's Paws
Maison Pants
Mimi Smartypants
No Regrets
Real Live Preacher
Spoonerisms
The Dillhole Spotter
Tobic
tremble dot com
Was I Screaming?
wench77

Talents 'n' Tempters
Anna Chambers
BearSkinRug
David Goines
Keri Smith
Leafages
Loose Tooth
Lush
Peach Berserk
Rob Dario
S. Britt
Sideshow
The Bird Machine
Tim Biskup
Toothpaste for Dinner
X-Entertainment

Brain or Bust!
The Atlantic
Babble
Found Magazine
How Stuff Works
Knot Mag
McSweeney's
The Morning News
OED Word of the Day
Project Gutenberg
Salon - Sex
Something Positive
Tomato Nation

Knitastic
Bonkers Fiber
Chicknits
devBear
Elann
Grey Eyes
In Sheep�s Clothing
Interweave Knits
Knitty
Lorna's Laces
Perfect Touch
Red Lipstick
Rowan
Stitch Guide
Sweater Project
The Yarn Co.
Threadbear
Webs
White Lies Designs

She's Crafty!
(thx, Beasties)
American Science and Surplus
crafty chica
Darma Trading
Feria Urbana
Fine Art Store
Get Crafty
Glitter Boards
Jejeune
Loobylu
Not Martha
Readymade Mag