2003-05-24

2003-05-24 - 9:51 a.m.

Saturday morning ruminations from a homeowner on her hands and knees scrubbing

Off-white linoleum was invented to torture me. So far I've pried up red paint from the half-bath repaint job, cream paint from the living room and drips of blue dye from the yarn experiment.

If anyone ever tells you that 'modern acrylic tubs don't scratch', kick his sorry ass. Mine has divots bigger than the ones Annika is throwing down at the PGA this weekend.

Where are those Huxtable cleaning fairies when I need them? Do they only visit wealthy African-American families?

This is really the most unfortunate reason to be on my hands and knees. Sigh.

There is not a single place left in this house to store books. Even the floor is taken. Does anyone else even own a copy of A Taste of Thyme: Culinary Cultures of the Middle East, or am I the sole supporter of arcana?

Why exactly did I think it was a good idea to be a single homeowner? If there were two of us, I could at least ask him to take out the recycling.

There's candle wax on the carpet in every single room of this house.

Why do I have three containers of Murphy's Oil Soap under the kitchen sink?

Other things I could be doing: knitting on the tank, reading Margaret Atwood poems, working out, petting the kitty, munching Kashi, watching Sex and The City Season Four, screening calls from Mom, sewing up silk pillows, sleeping in my clean-sheeted bed, lounging naked in the sun, drinking Peet's coffee. . .

Damn it, Katze, don't walk there, I just cleaned that!

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